| Rebecca Tsang |
 |
|
Becca is a math major because she can be.
Actually she didn't plan on
majoring in math at all when she first came to Wellesley...but Stan the
man changed her destiny. The math major is sort of the by-product of her
taking Professor Chang's classes. In general, she revels in being the punky
immature bad student of the class. In her spare time, she enjoys chocking
on bobas, contemplating the existence of abstract algebra and chilling
with her girl. She is very proud of her spiky hair and metallic
accessories. Most recently Rebecca has been approached by the
FBI in connection with the illicit use of numchuks on various professors
in the Wellesley economics department.
|
| Jessica Lee |
 |
|
Jessica Lee is a senior at Wellesley College,
studying math and economics.
Well, studying math anyway (really? -- editor).
She loves Chandler Bing and has an affinity
for people with the name Aaron. The funniest moment of her junior year
occured while she and her fellow 306-er, Alefiya Calcuttawala,
were hanging out
with two friends at MIT, when the first MIT-er asked "So are you guys
taking real analysis?" and the second MIT-er immediately scoffed, "What...
as opposed to .... 'fake' analysis?" Her favorite food is lychee boba at
Shabu Shabu in the Boston Chinatown. Last week Jessica's arm was
violated by a Wellesley professor whom she has openly described as
"oogy". |
| Miranda Mei |
 |
|
Miranda is finishing up her degree at the UCLA Business School
and will hopefully land a multimillion dollar job! Good luck
Miranda, and don't forget us at Wellesley.
|
| Catherine Silverstein |
 |
|
Ms. Silverstein has worked for the CIA from the
age of sixteen, speaking 17 languages fluently and proficient
in 12 types of martial arts. The Guinness Book of World
Records lists her as having read the unexpurgated 1894 version
of Anna Karenina in 24 minutes. Her most successful ventures have
been the recovery of the Holy Grail, the overthrow of Fidel Castro
and the resurrection of Kurt Cobain. Her most recent mission is
to infiltrate the military ranks of attacking aliens from
Quaoar, a mini-planet in the Kuiper belt. Ms. Silverstein
enjoys quiet days in the mountains and tall glasses of
lemonade.
|
| Elizabeth Bellenot |
 |
|
Elizabeth Bellenot is revealed to be the true author of
Shakespeare's complete works, having ghostwritten for
the Avon native out of sheer modesty and a disinclination for
public attention. Following this announcement, Ms. Bellenot
has publicized her irritation that her reading audience
has not been able to determine the true assassin of King Duncan
in her tragic masterpiece MacBeth.
Immediately after the interview, she went into seclusion, muttering
as she went, "Wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful."
She is the result of a little-known
illicit union between James Earl Jones and Ellen DeGeneres.
|
| Alefiya Calcuttawala |
 |
|
A mild mannered mathematics student from New Hampshire, Ms.
Calcuttawala went postal on the evening of December 11, 2004,
when forced to babysit two unruly children on her 22nd birthday.
The youngsters were found by local police bound by PVC tubing
to the roof antenna, while the words "BABYSIT YOURSELF" were
scrawled on the walls of every room. Ms. Calcuttawala is still
at large. Rumor has it that she has begun an underground movement
to liberate all babysitters from their thrall. There is a 3 million
dollar reward for any evidence leading to her arrest.
|
| Xinxin Du |
 |
|
Xinxin Du learned multivariable calculus at the age of two, when
she also published a philosophical treatise on the nature of
physical matter. At the age of four, she disproved the cosmological
framework established by Stephen Hawking. In their public debate,
she popularized the phrase, "You're a dumb-butt and you know it."
Internationally known for her unorthodox treatment of Bach's
Cello Suites, she has also included Yo-Yo Ma, Kathleen Battle
and Leonard Bernstein on her list of dumb-butts.
|
| Tarja Rechsteiner |
 |
|
After graduating from Wellesley College, Tarja Rechsteiner joined
the motorcycle gang known as Hells Angels and has not been seen
since.
|
